How Will I Know When It’s Love?
Ask Now: When you want to get married, how does it feel? Fourteen-year-old Nzula Kivuva from Lenana Girls High School in Kitale, Kenya has many questions about life, as you can see in her letter below. For this post, I’ve highlighted Love.
Perhaps you know how your body works, about monthly periods and the pros and cons of hormones. Your parents or teachers might have been frank about sex: the risks, the responsibility of parenthood, and why waiting for marriage could help you to have clarity and avoid the wrong relationship. But do you know what it feels like to be in love?
I was thirty when I met and married my husband, Jonas, and then we waited until we were thirty-five before having our first son. We made the decision together, and at that point, the idea of having a baby and becoming parents was very exciting. But before we got to that point, we learned to trust each other. We learned to appreciate each other’s vulnerable spots, our hopes in life, and the fears that try to hold us back. We learned acceptance, and it came as a relief. We felt comfortable enough, confident enough to be ourselves, individuals in a close relationship. Unbounded and held tight. Free and devoted to each other.
Life is hard, but love comes easy when you’re with the right partner. Mistakes are unavoidable, but forgiveness prevails. He walks into a room, and my heart jumps as if I’m just seeing him and it’s all new and exciting. For no apparent reason, I smile uncontrollably.
I wasn’t a virgin when I met Jonas, and I had regrets, but I gave myself the time and space to let go of the negative thoughts, to find peace and self-respect, to feel strong, on my own.
If you’re feeling disappointed for becoming sexually active too soon, if your boyfriend or girlfriend and everyone else in your life has let you down, remember God’s unwavering love for you. Allow that Perfect Love to rebuild your self-esteem, and then Love Yourself back to a place where you can begin again.